Happiness is a tricky thing and none of us are happy 100% of the time, but some of us are happier than others. Many of the differences between one person’s happiness and another’s comes down to basic body chemistry, and scientists are at the tip of the iceberg in terms of figuring out how our moods are effected. I do believe, however, that there are a few steps that each of us can take to increase happiness in certain parts of our lives.
One of the main things that we all get hung up on at this day in age is the expectation that we must be perfect. We must look perfect, have a perfect job, be wildly successful and make someones list of “most accomplished…under 30,” or something along those lines. If we don’t achieve these goals we consider ourselves to be mediocre at best. There are prodigies, super models, and start-up millionaires and billionaires practically everywhere we look, and there is a fairly common mentality that everyone can and should strive for these ideals. The truth is though, that people like Elon Musk sit behind a computer most of the time and send emails. Super models usually don’t eat anything and spend their whole young adult lives wondering what ice cream tastes like. If this is what it means to be famous and successful then I will pass. I know it is not what makes me happy.
We all have different ideas of what productivity means. My parents are both academics and they feel that self worth comes from study. I have been in school for most of my adult life and I can say definitively that this is not the case for me. I like applying myself in my place of work, but I feel most productive when I have been active. This means that I am happy when I have been able to be outside for a few hours or make it to the gym. In my mind, once I have achieved that part of my day the rest is just an added benefit (or sometimes a wash). I think that understanding the differences in how we are all motivated is the key to happiness. There is a common misconception in life that the grass is always greener. This is what sometimes motivates people to have affairs, quit their jobs, have kids…or not, buy a bigger house, move…the list can go on forever. The thing is that none of these things are the right or wrong thing to do in any given circumstance, but the sense of uncertainty is what is the underlying theme with all of these actions. If we are all able to single out a handful of defining actions that are a source of prolonged enjoyment, we will hopefully be able to tell the difference between short term gratification and long term contentment.
There are things in the short term that can help, like ice cream and flowers (just speaking for experience), but it is good to recognize them for what they are, short term vehicles for satisfaction. When you eat ice cream you are not working towards a long term goal unless maybe you like to participate in ice cream eating contests and you are practicing for game day. On the other hand, it is also good to remember not to get too caught up in the importance of achieving a singular goal that you have set for yourself and doggedly pursue. If you focus on one thing too much you are bound to be disappointed one way or another.
One thing I learned for spending all that time in school is that I find joy in a diversity of interests. I think that goals are like a stock portfolio. If you don’t diversify and something goes wrong, you are left with nothing. If you diversify appropriately, there is always something left that can lift you up in a time of need. I am very active, but accidents happen and I know that I need to be able to be happy even if I can’t go skiing and biking everyday. Like a healthy diet, balance in life’s goals is a key ingredient to staying positive and enjoying what life has to offer each one of us.
A life well lived 